Kreesmahs.

Have any of you heard that Christmas song about the goose and the old man?

No...?

Suriously...?

It's a song I promise!!

(Ahem)

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please put a penny in the old man's hat!

If you 'aven't got a penny, then a haypenny will do. And if you 'aven't got a haypenny than God Bless You! 

The point being, CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND I'M SO EXCITED I COULD CRY CANDY CANES AND DRINK A WHOLE GALLON OF CHRISTMAS CHEER.

If I were to list my current obsessions, they would be in this order:

Cats.

Christmas.

iwastesomuchtime.com 

Forever Lazys.

Sole Patches.

Potato peelers.

Goat Milk.

Dear Mother Susan Santa, Any of those things would please me greatly on Christmas morning. Take note.

Love, Abby

I've always loved Christmas, but this year my enthusiasm has doubled. For instance, I was avidly against listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but guess who was rockin' out to J Beib's "Mistletoe" November 12th? This bieliber right hur. 

THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 

First and foremost, there's the kristmas kitty sweater that will be proudly worn to the ward party. Then there's the lights at temple square. Peppermint hot chocolate from Mikey D's. All the christmas decorations around campus/decorations in general. Painting easter eggs. The zillion snow flakes me/harl-dawg cut out and hung from our ceiling.  Christmas jammies. SHOPPING. Christmas music - espesh Christmas Shoes. Lights at Riverwoods. Arthur Christmas. Nutcrackers. Real Christmas trees. Fuzzy socks. Stockings by the fire. Old school Christmas movies. Egg nog. Gosh darn it - THE WHOLE ENCHILADA! (Note: googling "Christmas Enchiladas" does, in fact, NOT give you christmas tree shaped enchiladas.)

Dare I even say I'm looking forward to...snow??

Hahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahah that's a laugh and a half.

Let it be known that the only time snow is okay is on Christmas.

And now, in appreciation for the holiday season I give you:

ODE TO CHRISTMAS

By: Abby Christensen

 

If

there

were no

Christmas

I would cry,

cry, cry. Then,

in mine anger, lash

out at children on the

street. They wouldn't un-

derstand my behavior and 

look at me wierd, then run

away screaming. I would then 

cry, cry, cry. A nice old lady would

prolly come up and give me a hankie. 

I'd say, "Thank you." I'd continue to cry, 

cry, cry. But then I'd realize how much I 

like nice old ladies, and decide to open a cat 

petting zoo for all the nice old ladies in Provo.

They'd come from miles around to pet a tabby

or calico and smile. Thinking about it made me

cry, cry, cry tears of 

joy. Oh and this 

poem is shaped like 

a Christmas tree.

And now without further ado, let the festivities BEGIN!!

A Picture's Worth a 1000...

WERDS. A 1000 words. Did y'all get that right?
And speaking of pictures, you know those pictures that capture a single moment, but tell a whole story?

Ok, no. I'm not talking about pictures of me in a bonnet/after jaw surgery/when half of my face swelled up from an allergic reaction and I looked like the love child of obesity and china. (ask anyone if they have that last one on their phone...99.7% chance they do.)

You know what I'm talking about?
The pictures that, good or bad, changed mankind?

The pictures that caught your breath, left a gaping wound in your heart and scorched your soul??

THE PICTURES OUR VERY NATION WAS FOUNDED UPON??????

(Sorry. A little too much American Heritage to the head.)

But srsly. I'm talking pictures a little like these: 

Loch Ness Monster (1934)

"Last week, Japanese scientists placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."

*IbeliveinyouNessie*


Tiananmen Square (1989)

...Aaaaand that's when the fetal position comes in.

Migrant Mother (1936)

......Mother Susan??

Abbey Road (1969)

Teensy mistake Beatles...I believe it's spelled "Abby Road."


V-J Day in Times Square (1945)

I think a group chant along the lines of "get some!" is in order.


Afghan Girl (1984)

Egad! Am I the only one that feels like she can see into my soul???

So...you picking up what I'm throwing down? We're all on the same page? Specgoodular. Fantawestic? Glorsupeious?.  ... .. . .. .... .. .... .making word babies ain't my thing.

(ehem.) THE POINT BEING:

I, Abigail Elizabeth Christensen, not two days ago took part in a picture that was not only an rare and significant event, but will soon join with the above photos in The Famous Place Where They Hang Such Things.

Words would be inadequate, an explanation -  too trivial. Nay, I will let the picture speak for itself:

.......... . .. .. . . .. . ................

.... .......... .. ... .. .. 

... . ... ... .. ..

... .. . .

...

..

.

YES that is me, and YES that cat was giving ME a *high five*

GLORY.

I could die happy.

And just after viewing such a peachy delight, you prolly could too. 

FEEL FREE TO COPY AND PASTE AS NEEDED.

Katz out.

OCTS TOBS

Before I begin my usual rantings, can I just share a really, REALLY visual word with you?

FESTER.

Oooh. Let that sit for a moment.

Ens whos, am I the only freaking out that it’s already October?? Yes? Oh. So…am I the only one freaking out that the guy who does yoda’s voice also does miss piggy’s? Yes again? Ummm….well….JIMMER’S ENGAGED. Oh…you … .. knew that too?

(ehem) 

But suriously - Am I the only one that thinks October is a bittersweet month? I mean you got the GOOD things like pumpkin carving, leaves changing, soup slurping, and HALLOWEEN, but October also means……WINTER will be here soon. (involuntary shudder) Now I’m not talking Florida or California winters – I’m talking frost scrapin’, ice crunchin’, nose wipin’, face numbin’, wish-you-were-dead-because-it-lasts-six-months UTAH winters.

For all you “But winter means SKIING” or “Snow is so pretty!” or even worse, “Winter fashion is so cute!” sayers, to you I say BOO. That’s right. BOO. All those things last a day and then it’s, “I missssssssssssssssssssssss summer.” (Note: I don’t hate Christmas. Quite the contrary. SANTA 4 LYPHE) Shoot…I’m sorry to rant. I’m just a summer kind of girl – plus trying to ride with the windows down/tunes blasting/shades rocking in winter just leaves you with pnemonia and weird looks.

…On that note, let’s get to the goods a.k.a ABBY’S LYPHE IN KOLLEGE.

One month in and it’s so far, so good(ish). I think it’s safe to say I’m a tride and true, BYU blue cougar fan/full time student extroidinaire. I mean, I feel comfortable:

• Making Jimmer jokes (see above)
• Singing Rise and Shout at games/during class/in the shower/at all times
• Openly stalking Jake Heaps Riley Nelson
• Audibly gasping whenever someone says *crap*
• Studying with Harold……B. Lee, that is. Ever heard of him?
• Spewing out building acromyns on command – HFAC!JKB!SWKT!JFSB!
• Looking at engagement rings in Book of Mormon class
• Being engaged
• Riding my unicycle around campus. Yeaaaah…I’m THAT girl.

The only bad thing is MIDTERMS (voluntary shudder) are next week! Dun dun dun. Soo…I have to apply what I’m learning in class? Cr*p. What happened to the good ol’ miss-a-week-of-class-then-show-up-half-asleep-for-a-test-and-ace-it days in hihskool? Higsool? Hihscool? Eh it’s been so long I can’t even remember WHAT we used to call it.

Welp. Wish me luck. I get the feeling me and Harold are going to spend a looooot of time together this week. Anyone want to join us on the 5^th floor? No….? Real cool guys. Ril kool.

Cat shirt of the week:

is someone keeping track of all these?

It's Pronounced "[kol-ij]"

It's gotten to the point where when I go to check out my blog,

I have to type in the whole address.

As in, I don't come here often enough, aka I don't blog enough.
I know what you're thinking.."Haven't we beaten the topic of Abby's lame bloggage to a pulp, then put it in a blender, then trampled on the remnains and put them in the shrimp scampi at the cannon center??"

Well...that's not the point. The point is, did you catch my clever college joke??
Well, for those of you that don't go to college, the Cannon Center is where all the freshman go to use their magic I.D. cards to get free food. They then proceed to make college conversation about credit hours and professors, whilst chowing down on fancy college food. It's all very posh.

And how do I know this? BECAUSE I GOES TO COLLEGE.

FACT: The freshman 15 is real folks... .. . . .verrrry real.
FACT: Dorm closets are proportionate to those in freakishly small world.
MYTH: The boy:girl ratio is always 1:1. (Try 1:3 DANGIT.)
FACT: There is a Timpview person in every one of my classes. REPRESENT.
FACT: Selling your soul is part of the textbook buying process.
MYTH: Roomates are always creepy... . .. .. .. . ..heh heh, right Harly?
FACT: In college you do weird things like "tunnel singing" or "baking cookies on the bell tower lights-ing" and "going to class".
FACT: You master the art of small talk within a matter of days.
FACT: School Supplies (where I work in the Bookstore) is better than the Candy Counter.
MYTH: School Supplies taste better than Candy.

FACT: In college you have to "study"...whatever that means.

MYTH: Cleaning supplies are in no way means for excitement.

FACT: The vending machines can be your best friend...or your worst enemy.

FACT: Your mom goes to college.

Now let me google college real quick and let's see what treasures I find...

Facial expression of 95% of freshman.. . .. ...(I'm obviously in the other 5%)

I'd say Mr. Blue Shirt already found the dream.

What 95.3% of professors look like.

SO TRUE.

The usual class size. Oh but just imagine 5 billion more people around him...

Average BYU hair size.

I'll keep you updated on the college life. I have yet to go to the Harold B. Lee Library, but I'll save that little adventure for another post.

-Babbs

P.S. Cat shirt of the week? Feast your eyes upon THIS lil' beaut:

Alreads on the wish list.

BabbsFavorites Numero Uno: Or as they say...BFAVS NUMS UNS

Ah ha! GOTCHA.

That's right. I caught you all in the act of DOUBTING whether or not I would blog in the near future.

Well I'm proud to say it's been five days since my last post.

Call me rash, but I think it's safe to look now folks because.....I'MONAROLL.

Ens whos.

So there I was.

Thinking about what wisdom I could impart on the blogging world.

Yeahhh...didn't work.

BUT. I did come up with the latest installment on Absolutely.

I call it...

BFAVS OF THE WEEK 

Catchy, eh?? The "B" stands for babbs (me) and the "Favs" stands for favorites and, well, you get the picture.  The neat thing is that it'll constantly change and I personally think it will enhance my image/give Absolutely the zest it needs. I've decided to do this every so often to keep y'all on yer toesies.

Alright. Here we go. The first ever -

BFAVS OF THE WEEK

 MOVIE

 Spirited Away

Wait...Spirited Away as in that creepin Japanese Anime film where that scary frog spirit eats everyone and no one knows what's going on that came out like ten years ago?

The very same.

Watched it when I was like 8 and was SCARRED.

BUT. Thanks to some prodding by Brynmore, we watched it and...I loved it.

As cliche as this sounds, now that I'm older, I understand it.

Aaaaaand it's surprisingly funny.

Aaaaaaand the scary frog spirit isn't scary, just...misunderstood.

Aaaaaaaand I'm in love with Haku.

Aaaaand I encourage you all to watch it.

TV SHOW

Psych

 Toats hilars. 

You'd need to watch it yourself to discover the depth of hilarity.

Going strong on season 4...

BOOK

The Maze Runner/The Scorch Trials

Please take a moment to get on the ground and WORSHIP these books.

.................... 

If you have never laid eyes on these coveted covers, wrench yourself away from my blog (yes, it's THAT important) and hightail to the nearest Borders.

Seriously.

There hasn't been a book series since Hunger Games that has captured my attention so.

I read The Scorch Trials in one day...aka today.

Highly, HIGHLY recommend.

GUILTY PLEASURE

Instant Cream of Wheat

Go ahead. Laugh all you want.

But to someone who's been on a liquid diet for...forever?...Cream of Wheat is like hot cereal gold.

Two packs just this morning.

And to someone who's lost all faith in eating...that's a BFD.

CATCH PHRASE

#thatawkwardmoment...

I've been using it more and more this past week.

I've even found that there's a whole website dedicated to this sort of thing.

My fav?

"That  awkward moment wend Voldemort attempts to hug you..."

Oh and PLUS, I think I'm gonna start using "neat" more.

and since we're going along with the whole awkward thing...

AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTO

from awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Hahahhahaaaaa....classic. Never gets old.  

and finally...

CAT SHIRT

"I Got Another Whale"

Awwwhhh...auwahhh....please just....bask....in its infinite cat shirt glory.

This one's next on my list.

CURSE YOU THREADLESS.COM FOR BEING SOLD OUT OF MEDIUMS!!!

I request a reprint everyday.

Pretty zippy, eh? Well my dear friends, this is the beginning of many...

#Thatawkwardmoment when you realize you have jaw surgery...

Soooo...I'm a teensy bit rusty. How do these things usually start?

Hello. My name is Abby.

This is my blog.

I love dancing in the rain and peace signs.

If U cAn'T aCcEpT mE 4 wHo I aM tHeN uR nOt WoRtH mY tImE**:..

Ok I'm not THAT rusty. Let me try again.

Hello. My name is Abby and I'm a FB.

(Hi Abby)

No no no, not a FaceBooker but a Faulty Blogger.

I know you've heard every rant/lament/excuse in the Faulty Blogger Book from me, so we'll just skip that part. And maybe throw in one of those (insert drawn out story about why Abby has not blogged here)

Now that we've got all THAT hizzle out of the way, let us speak of happier things. LIKE...(drum roll please)...

WHAT ABBY HAS BEEN DOING FOR ROUGHLY THE PAST DOS MONTHS

       Aww. I even put it in an exciting new font...

Well. There was this guy.

(aka THE SENIOR BALL SPECTACULAR. I think it goes right up there with "Being Born" on the list of BEST DAYS OF MAH LYPHE!!!)

 We're into points...but not your average points.

And this guy...gradiation? greadution? Gra-something...

And the starts with a "T" and ends with a "Rek" (literally) Guy.

NOTE: I would not usually put this picture up, but since I have failed so miserably at blogging, a picture of me in a BONNET should hopefully make up for that. Copy and paste as you will...

Yes. That's me on the left hand side. Notice my precarious position on the handcart. This was moments before my leg got stuck in the wheel, almost landing me in the water.

And now for the mother that crowns all mothers.

JAW SURGERY

 That's right. 5 hours. 1 night in the hospital. 2 bottles of liquid Lortab. 1 jaw bra. 20 pounds added to cheeks. 100+ movies to keep me entertained.

aaaaaaaaand  

6 weeks on a LIQUID DIET.

I WANT TO DIE.

too dramatic you say?

ha! nope.

The whole "you don't know what you got till it's gone" slaps me in the face EVERY. STINKING. DAY. I feel like King Midas, but instead of gold, my touch turns food into a shapeless/tasteless "meal" of despair. Blend or die has become my new motto.

Let me illustrate this for you:

WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD EATS

  WHAT I EAT

 Don't worry - the carrots/celery are not included.

You get the picture. BUT I'm a glass-half-full kind of girl so good news! Only three more weeks ladies and gents. And then it's Happy Sumo/Cafe Rio/J-Dawg's/Slab Pizza/Kneaders/Wendy's/Beto's/Taco Bell with me.

Hold on Pork Salad...I'm almost there....

FAILURE. 

anticlimax, blow, collapse, comeuppance, crash, cropper, decline, defeat, deflation, demotion, descent, disappointment, discomfiture, dive, down, downfall, fall, flop, humiliation, pratfall, reverse, ruin, setback, undoing, wreck.

(I personally think comeuppance is just a euphemism, but that's besides the point.)

What is the point, you ask? And what is with this varied, but surprisingly helpful, list of synonyms for failure?

Welp. I, Abigail Elizabeth Christensen, FAILED. Yes. F-A-I-led.

No, no. Don't bother with all the, "It's okay, Abby. You're still the same super cool/funny/hip/hawt Abby we know" or "You did four days in a row! That's a personal record!!" or "Since when does jamba have a secret menu??".

Sigh....I need to own up to the fact that I let down...you. My posse. My peeps. My gang. My band. My crowd. My multitude. My throng. MY VIGILANTEs.

(No! No way am I perusing thesaurus.com right now...) 

Alright, ALRIGHT! 

I DIDN'T FINISH THE 7 DAY BLOG CHALLENGE TO MYSELF. 

aaaaand...............I'm ashamed.

Feeling immensely depressed, I googled FAIL and this is what came up:

HmMMMmmMmMMm. How fitting. It's...it's almost as if I'm the kat in this picture...and the colorful kat food represents my extremely kool and kreative blog. .. ... ..and, like, the mesh thingy around the kat's head are my doubts/insecurities/laziness..... .. .. and because of this protective head gear, I'm the one keeping myself from from this goodness... .. .. .and it's actually kind of spilling over and spoiling the excellence of my blog.... .. . . .. .

A.P. English is gettin to me.

(Ehem)

Here it is. The big "S" word you've all been waiting for..............SORRY. I'm sorry.

I hope this post will act as a kind of "second renewal", for although I will not blog everyday this week, I'll blog almost everyday this week.

So. Stay tuned...the next post is going to be BRILLS...

 

They're Good Kids.

The last couple of posts have been fairly long and, if I do say so myself, well-done.

But I'm a little put out.

Drained,  if you will.

Tell you what: I'll make your day and throw in a haiku - in exchange for a shorter blog post.

Dealio?

For Realio.

So that haiku I promised...

(NOTE: A haiku is a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature, one of the seasons, or a dope night babbs just had.)

 At the hospital,

Maybel finds the choco malt.

Ryan, Jake, the DOG.

HohohoHOhohOHohOHohooHOHohoHohohOh. 

Aaaaaaaand I just made your day. That's chad. Just chad.

Oves...and OUTS.

FoUr Of SeVeN*:... 

Springs. To the CIDS.

Today as I was mulling over the next  hot thing I could blog about, my complex personality came to mind. There are so many parts to this...phenomenon...called Lil Babbs. And, through my consistent blogging, many of you already know these parts - aka, my cat obsession, my need for the word "gfriend" and the fact that I kick butt at Klondike.
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The part of me that few know about......

The part of me that has hidden that part of me for the past 18 years......

The part of me that belongs to...SPRING CITY.

Now, half of you read that and shudder, while the other half looks at the other OTHER half and thinks, "Why the heck are they shuddering? And where the hello is Spring City??"
Well. Take a gander at this quiz...

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW SPRING CITY?

(and, inadvertantly, how well do you know Abby...)

1. How far away is Spring City from P-town?
    A.) Tres houras
    B.) 1 hour, 15 minutes and 38 seconds.
    C.) 60 minutes.
    D.) A 3 day journey on foot.
2. Why does Abby go there?
    A.) Because of family obligations and upkeep of the family's yellow house.
    B.) The natives have accepted her as their shamman/dj spectacular.
    C.) The cold climate and vigourous winds are perfect conditions for her unicorn herd.
    D.) To get away from the "crowds" of P-town.
3. How often does Abby stay in Spring City?
    A.) Christmas break.
    B.) Weekends.
    C.) Whenever someone's throwing a big party.
    D.) All of the above.
4. What is there to do in Spring City?
    A.) Cow Tipping.
    B.) Take a trip to the only gas station for some 10 cent candies.
    C.) Listen to the agonizing screams of your brain cells dying.
    D.) Harvest corn. Winter's a comin' on mighty quick...
5. Where is Spring City?
    A.) It's not a place, it's a cult.
    B.) In the dark folds of Abby's mind.
    C.) Sanpete County, Utah.
    D.) Nevada.
6. How many relatives of Abby reside in Spring City?
    A.) 11
    B.) 36
    C.) 284
    D.) IT'S A CULT, DANG IT.
7. Which towns are closest to Spring City?
    A.) Fall Town, Summerville and Winter Place.
    B.) Ephriam, Manit, Mt. Pleasant.
    C.) Lehi, Orem, Pleasant Grove.
    D.) Rainbows, Kittens and Butterflies.
8. T/F Spring City WILL be the first place Provo runs to in case of Zombie Apocalypse.
9. T/F If one wants to go to the movies, one must choose between the three movies showing at the two theaters.
10. T/F The headquaters for Abby's "mafia friends" is in the old barn behind the house.
 Answers: 1. B, 2. A, 3. D, 4. Anyone, really, 5. C, 6. A, 7. B, 8. True, 9. True and 10. False. It's in the tree house.

 If you totally cheated and scrolled to the bottom for the answers, let me give you Spring Cids in a nutshell (Note: If the paragraph below looks too intimidating, I give you permission to skip it):

My aunt and uncle on my mother's side bought a house in SC. They still own it. Consequently, my other uncle with his family/my grandpa also bought houses. Due to certain circumstances, both eventually sold their houses and moved up north. Now I'm not totally sure on the next sequence of events, but my dad's parents hopped on the Spring City train, as did my padre's two sisters and their families. My parents, feeling a little put out from being left behind, decided to buy a house as well. It was a lovely pioneer home that happened to be condemned. Like, to the point that there were animals living in it. After some blood, sweat and tears, the house was restored and painted the yellow color it is today. Fun Fact: Our house was built on an angle (which is odd, since every other house is perfectly parallel to the street) because the owner thought that angle to be "true north". And so, the Christensen family lived happily in this house for two years until Father Craig got so sick of the hour and 15 minute commute to P-town, that mi parentals decided to move on up here. And as said in the quiz, I now only travel to Spring city for holidays and weekends. 

To be honest, I may moan/whine/complain/grovel/tearoutmyhair about going to Spring Cids but...that's not always how I feel. Sometimes it is nice to get a little family time. To take a walk and enjoy nature. To feed the horses just outside of town. To keep up family traditons. To go to Fat Jacks and Pollie's Brain Freeze. To walk to Gram's and have family dinner. To swing on the hammock in the summer and listen to the crickets. To sit around the fire as snow falls in the winter. To just...chillax.

Sigh. Oh Spring City. *I salute you* 
Aaaahhhhh...Don't judge me! I'm still the same Babbs....Just don't tell Mother Susan. I think we'd move there right now if she were to read this post....

 Me and the Megs. CUZIN SHOUT-OUT. PROOF of Spring City's realness.

THREE OF SEVEN.

Still going strong...

Me and D. Pows Go Waaay Back...

oh.........man......day....t..t..ttwo.......can......(GASP).....b..b...barley....keep.......*up*.......
JOKES ON YOU MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS.
According to my computer clock, it is Mon 10:19 PM, aka the day after my last post, aka I am STILL on track with my goal. Ohs..to the yeahs.

My friend couldn't have said it better when she said, "Everyone thinks I live this bliss life but...I don't."
Take that that statement, multiply it by 10, divide it by dispair and then grind it up into little pieces with your shoe.  Previous statement = my day.
ROUGH. ("And yet, here Abby is, faithfully blogging despite the difficult day she has battled through - just so that I may dream sweet dreams and make little children laugh. Bless her", should be going through your mind right now.)

Alright, alright. I'm being a little dramatic. But still. It was one of THOSE days:

Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.

Late to 1st.

Was told I looked like an Asian fisherman (QUE???) 

Didn't eat lunch. 

Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")

Went PROM DRESS shopping.

Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.

Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)

Forced to clean my man cave. 

Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...

and...

STRESSED about the last month of school.

So there I was. Stewing over the fact that my day was crapola and blasting "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter (shout out to 8th grade, baby!) in my room.  I was to the point of boiling over when I remembered a compliment someone gave me. And the more I thought about that compliment, the more I realized how many (if you will) "bright spots" had dotted my day. Sorry to go all Sister Christensen on ya, but that little moment was straight out of the Young Women's manual. Shall I share my "bright spots" with the class? Ohs...to the yeahs:

That really nice compliment during class.

20/20 on my vocab test. WHADDUP??

A chocolate bunny brought to me from a far-away land (bryn's house)

A nice long chat with a bestie during 5th.

Didn't have to go to 7th. 

Some Lays chips magically appeared on the voting table. My stomach's still thanking me.

Driveway chatola with an old friend.

Found DOS back-up dresses.

The Soph-dawg making me laugh. 

Slurped some clams chowds (my absoulute favorite soup) for din din.

Found my SOUL MATE via internet. We're getting married on October 29th. (National Cat Day, sillies!)

 That sweater came from that cat. And that mullet is ALL man. 

And so all this junk -
Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.
Late to 1st.
Was told I looked like an asian fisherman (QUE???) 
Didn't eat lunch. 
Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")
Went PROM DRESS shopping.
Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.
Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)
Forced to clean my man cave. 
Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...
and...
STRESSED about the last month of school.
- I'll admit, was annoying. And it almost, ALMOST ruined my day. Good thing I found my SOUL MATE Sheldon and decided not to let the bad things define my day.
And so, my little compadres, learn from me. FIND THOSE BRIGHT SPOTS, DANG IT. And may your day be better for it.

TWO OF SEVEN.
And to all of those who said, "Your posts can't be deep AND funny"....JOKES ON YOU.

Cause It's a Bittersweet Epiphany...

Today my dear, dear friends, I had an epiphany.

e·piph·a·ny

1. a sudden, intuitiveperception of or insight into the reality oressential meaning of something, usually initiated by somesimple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

I'm offended by the words "somesimple" and "homely" and "commonplace".

They make me think of 16th century Puritan girls.

For those who know me, "jazzy" and "cool" and "super hawt" tailor more to THIS 21st century woman.

Nay, my epiphany, though subtle, was very VERY profound. And what was my epiphany, you ask?

Ab·by['s] 

e·piph·a·ny

1. a sudden, intuitive insight about blogging Abby received that went along the lines of: 

BLOGGING ISN'T HARD.

I know, right?? And after.. .. .all. .. ...... ...this time... .. ... .. .. ..... .. ..Ok but for reals. I rarely ever blogged because I felt like my posts required at least dos houras of my time to be a complete success. But here's the kicker: THEY DON'T. I don't know how/when/who/where/why this idea came to me, and yet, it was the missing puzzle piece in my mind. (Yes, you may read that sentence again and try to figure out why the HECK I'm not a song writer...)

So. Here comes the conclusion. Along with the bajillion other things on my goal list (right between "make a cat hair sweater" and "learn how to 'kirk'") I am penciling in: 

BLOG EVERYDAY THIS WEEK. 

*audible gasps* I know. I KNOW. I don't care how tired/dirty/un-funny/lame-sauce/finger numb I get. I'll reach my goal if it kills me, DANG IT. Note: This is an experiment. I just want to see if:

A.) I can keep up.

B.) My posts still possess their meaty goodness.

C.) My life changes for the better. 

and 

D.) I can put back the shine in my follower's eyes.

I'm not banking on C, but we'll "C" how this goes!

tee hee hee hee heee...........................................................you're always off to a good start with puns.

And so it begins...ONE OF SEVEN.