Sunday, August 12, 2012

Snippets and Whippets.

I have a teeny problem. 

You see, I have a hard time focusing on one thing till the end. If I'm doing something and a thought pops into my head--whether it be "go eat a bagel" or "I wonder if I could do a handstand" or "I need some pics of the Hemsworth bros"--I stop what I'm doing and follow that thought.

That being said, below are some well-to-do blog posts I started...and never finished. Today I was going through them and, to directly quote myself, thought, "Well it's a darn shame these pups ain't n'er seen the light o' day. They could use some fresh air and sunshine."

So without further ado, I now present a future New York Times Bestseller Book--
A Look To the Past: Snippets and Whippets of the Life of Abby Christensen. 

Raw. Unedited. THE RIL DIL. 

This beaut was last seen November-ish of last year. I believe I was avoiding some American Heritage homework:

Does your brain ever feel so full that you wish you could pop it like a balloon and let all the air out?
That was the sound all that air would make...but more likely the sound a majestic bald eagle would make when swooping down on..........INJUSTICE.
(Sorry. Dang American Heritage is to blame..)

Needless to say, my brain is full. Hence the eagle/balloon analogy. Hence me writing on mah blog. Hence the hencing.
Sooooo....imma just throw it all out there. Out into the blogging world. For the next two minutes, I'm going to write down all those dern little thoughts bouncing around in my head. Take it as you whill.
  • I have two midterms this week. 
  • Have I studied? No...... .. . .. .. . . .
  • But I listen in class!!
  • Shoot. I'm doomed.
  • I wish I had more kat shurts.
  • That would make life a little less doom-ish.
  • Adding "ish" to the end of a word is fun-ish.
  • Or time.
  • HILAR. Go check it out. 
  • That's a song by
  • Isn't it funny how that's just william with well placed periods?
  • That's how Flo Rida guys. It's just Florida with a space!
  • I need some more space in my closet. 
  • My clothes don't fit....In my closet, I mean.
Ah, a look into my blogging methods.  I tend to make multiple drafts of the same event or rant. If you refer to one of my later posts, I did in fact blog about freshman year. If I remember correctly, the beginning is quite similar, but I rather enjoyed the second paragraph:

Never thought I'd be back so soon, eh? EH??
I'm like a boomerang.
Or a bad foot fungus.
Or a stray dog with rabies.
I JUS KEEP COMIN BAHK (evenafter3monthsofnopostingteehee)

Alright. No more intros. No more excuses. No more references to feet or rabies DANGIT.
We're going straight to the soul. Straight to the innermost thoughts of Abby's mind, into the folds of her very being...
HA. None y'all would last two hot seconds in this brain o' mine. So we'll just go straight to the heart of this post (ehem):

Joke. I only had one freshman year. I just added the z to be kool/thug/swag/YOLO.
...too much?
Anyway, my freshman year just ended. Did I ever think I'd be sad? Nope.

Oh I remember this one had great potential. To be honest, the whole thing became too time consuming. This was at the end of the semester, winter 2011:

Not that I ever thought I wouldn't.

I've always been confident in my college-taking capabilities. (except for those little pockets of doubt where I'd rip out my hair in bloodied chunks and curl up into fetal position for 7 hours straight.)
But alas, winter semester 2011 is forever gone, and what do I have to show for it? Worn textbooks and broken pencils? Semi-average grades? A NOTEBOOK FULL OF EMPTY DREAMS????

NAY. Well, maybe that last one... .. ... .. BUT. I have learned many much things - and will impart them upon you, my faithful follower, for future reference. *free of charge!*

FIRST OF ALL, library = best friend. Maybe even Best Friend Forever if you go often enough. The library will become your biggest ally for peace and free wifi. Library does not equal little brother - you can't ignore it. Library does not equal nerdy cousin - you're not too cool for it. And library does most certainly not equal nosy aunt - YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT. HBLL4LYPHE

SECOND OF ALL, all sports pass? WORTHless. 

And last but not least, the longest post in my draft folder. Toward the end, I inconveniently succumbed to writers block and like a Cafe Rio salad, could never finish it. This is truly a relic from the past--my senior year of high school:

Every dinner at the Christensen home invariably ends with someone running out crying a little thing we lovingly call Table Topics - "The cube that started it all! These engaging questions inspire the best kinds of conversation - whether over a glass of wine or at dinner party. Created for adults, but appropriate for ages 12 and up."

So basically it's a cube with little cards inside that have thought provoking questions.
POINT BEING: Sophie pulled one out that went along the lines of,

"In what era would you most like to have grown up?"

And before another breath could be taken, my heart leaped out of my chest and with a voice all its own loudly proclaimed (very brave heart style),

"THE E-E-E--E--E--E-IGHTIES!!!!"
(the 80's)

True story. And I'm not talking bottles and huggies - I'm talkin living in the 80's as an all out TEENAGER.
I mean, who wouldn't? What with the hair? The music? The style? REGANOMICS?? But siriously. *Editor's note: I foolishly spelt "siriously" wrong. I now know it's spelt "suriously"
Take a gander and you'll see what I mean:

  A league all their own...

 Acid wash + hair + fringe = triple win

My prom went a little somethin' like this.

I can't decide if it's the earring or the hair that makes me weak at the knees.. the 80's.


There's a lot more where those came from. Alas, the public is not ready for the second book in my 10 part series. They'll have to make a movie about these ones first.

Oh and here are the whippets I promised:

and the Hemsworth brothers:

you throw that peace sign liam