Sunday, May 10, 2015

Nugget.z.

Today, while I was dusting out my mailing inbox, I found some NUGGETS. As in gold, not chicken. Fiiiiiiiiiiiirst of all, this video OF AN OLD MAN FULFILLING HIS DREAMS...cue *tears* *fetal position* *snot* *thumb-sucking* Gets. me. erry. time. Ok, that was really the only thing I wanted to share before I came to the rest of this post...
BACKSTORY--below you will find an assortment of odd questions [BOLD] followed by my response [SLANTY], which was for my application to the Advertising Program at BYU. You'll notice my responses are a bit short--I was kept to a word limit, or else I probably could've rambled on for like EVER without stopping and then people would be like WOAH when does this run on sentence end but it's a run on sentence so it doesn't really ever end so yeah...
Anywho, I stumbled across all this whilst doing said previous dusting. Reading through the material, I just had to smile and dareIadmit--chuckle?? But I couldn't have done it on my own! SHOUTOUT TO: Mother Susan (she's kept me grounded) and that one coffee shop where I wrote all of my brilliant ideas down on a napkin, then turned them into a international 7-part book, 8-part movie bestseller about a boy wizzard, a dark lord, a rat that was a man and some chocolate frogs...what?
*AHEM*
What 3 things did you learn in kindergarten that have made you into the person you 
are today? 
Other children were learning their letters and numbers. But because my first year of school took place in Belgium, I was learning one thing: survival. Wanting the best culture shock for her children, mother enrolled my siblings and I into a French-speaking public school. Yet what I lacked in school smarts, I made up for in street smarts. The three things I learned in kindergarten are as follows: 1. Words aren’t needed, facial expressions say it all. 2. The language of food is universal and 3. Je ne suis pas bon en fran├žais et le chat mange de rouge d'amusement.

The Justice League is adding a new member – who should apply? Why?
Edward Cullen. Dead serious. With all of his abilities, it’s completely logical. First of all, Edward is like a rock. Most superheroes stop there—but not Edward. He can read minds. He can blind attackers with his incandescent skin. He can send thousands of girls into fainting fits with a flick of his hand. He has millions of dollars. He’s sensitive. He cooks. And to top it all off, Edward never sleeps—so he can watch his enemies. He’s like 20 superheroes in one, good looks included. (I’m really not a twi-hard, I swear) Did I mention he was immortal?

Choose a product you love and pretend it just been taken off the market. Write a 
eulogy for the product.
Today, my friends, marks the end of free movement and convenient remote handling. Today, the Snuggie has left the living room for good. Early mockers taunted the Snuggie, “So, you’re just like a backwards robe?” Yet despite this, the Snuggie took the infomercial world by storm. Starting out with colors like, “True Blue” and “Green with Envy”, the womb-like feeling warmed our hearts and arms--all for just $9.99. But by extending from solids to prints and opening a pet line, Snuggie lost sight of the true meaning of in-home comfort. So we bid adieu to this masterpiece of fleece. Goodbye Snuggie.
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie-Roll center?
For years, this question has plagued the minds of scientists and philosophers worldwide. This has gone far beyond a boy seeking wisdom from an owl—nay, this question questions the essence of man. The similarities are uncanny. The hard exterior of a tootsie-pop represents man’s caution. We often encase ourselves in a guarded shell, protecting our soft, “chocolaty “ insides. And to reach one’s center, one must be patient, lest they crush the inside before ever getting through the outside. So let me answer your question with a question—how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie-roll center?
So there you have it. And, yes, I ended up making it in. Not because of talent or charming wit of course--it was my devastatingly good looks. Yay America!