Happy Christmas Ron! Happy Christmas Harry!

December 26th is quite the party pooper. I don't have anything against 26 itself - I personally think its a nice even number - and December, though a bit nippy at times, has its perks.

But it just so happens that December 26th falls right after the happiest day (besides January 28th) of the year - CHRISTMAS.

I woke up feeling slightly empty. Sure, you can still drink eggnog, listen to Christmas songs and deck the halls all you want. But it's just like eating cardboard - sure it fills you up, but does it taste good? Nay. 

Ok ok ok...I'm done with the depression and doom talk. Moving on to deets of the Classic Christensen Christmas!

Who: Craig, Susan, ME and assortment of siblings and distant relatives.

Where: Springs Cits

When: Christmas, of course!

Why?: Still deciphering that one...

Anywho. I'd deem this Christmas a top five in Christensen history - Cameron didn't buy all of our presents at the dollar store, and Uncle Roger stayed sober for an hour.

..................Jokes. I don't have an Uncle Roger. But our Christmas dinner WAS a sober one. And the loot I got was darn good loot.

Favorites include:

• A cat shirt entitled "The Adventures of Mr. Mittens"
• Kick BUTT red fingerless biker gloves - Madonna would be proud.
• An original "Pandahead - Beats for lype? lyphe?" shirt
• My first sag beanie!
• A t.n. designer shoe calender for every. darn. day.
• Lots of riesens in mah stocking...
• World peace
• Albino tiger cub coat.
• and......A FUNCTIONING PHONE. (I would put up my new number, but how do I know you're not a creepy 40-year-old man??)

Highly successful. Highly. 

And now my Christmas present to you all: 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/109-cats-in-sweaters

SNEAK PEAK!:

Shout-out to ROSS CHRISTENSEN for introducing me to such wonder...

Think you know Abby? We'll see about that.

It's here! What you've all been waiting for! The famous get-to-know-you-questionaire-that's-full-of-useless-and-or-questionable-info-about-someone-you-semi-know-when-they-start-a-blog-so-you-can-get-to-know-them-better questionaire extraordinaire!!!! I applaud whoever reads all 50. That's right. ALL. 50.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

            Abigail Adams, though I wish I was named a little more creatively. After a famous wizard, perhaps? Or an ingredient in hostess doughnuts?

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

            Probs when I got my braces on. Wait – scratch that. Watching the last ten minutes of Moulin Rouge…

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

            Yeppers. According to Kimmy, “It’s very ‘circle-y.’”

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

            I’ll have to go with mystery.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

            For viewing purposes, I’ll say no.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

            Absolutely. Not only am I outgoing and uber friendly, I’m just downright attractive.

           

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

            Ha! NO! (Get it? I used sarcasm to answer the question!!)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

            Yes, last time I checked.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

            I’d be the kind of person to be all gung-ho about it, but right before jumping, curl up into fetal position and beg them to make it stop.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

            Fruity Pebbles. Hands down. Trix is a close runner up…

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

            Nah. Says a lot about me though.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

            Define “strong”.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

            Breyer’s Cookies n’ Cream. They use LEGIT Oreos. Aren’t generic brand Oreos just the worst?

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

            Girls? Clothes. Guys? Smile.

15. RED OR PINK?

            What’s the occasion? Red, if I’m the singer at a swanky 1940’s nightclub. Pink, if I’m at the tea party of the Queen’s granddaughter.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

            My tonsils.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

            FRED. (Soft sobs ensue…)

18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

            Uh…I’ll come back to this one.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

            Tanish-whiteish-yellowish ones. They happen to be my ugg slippers.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

            Cup of Noodles. BEEF style.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

            Tightrope by Janelle Monae

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

            If I could be anything, I def choose something other than a crayon…….and just for the record, the sparkly purple one.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?

            Whatever’s cooking after church on fast Sunday, clean laundry, light blue, good men’s cologne, mint.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

            Barak. We’re on a first name basis…

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

            BEACH HOUSE. Any one who says “Mountain Hideaway” has obviously never been to Springs Cits.

Halfway there! Take a breather and enjoy the visual entertainment:

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

            Tennis, football, figure skating, men’s volleyball.

27. HAIR COLOR?

            A deep, rich brown color with creamy highlights and tints of red. (Yep. I just novel-ized my hair)

28. EYE COLOR? 

            Blue.           

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

            All the time.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?

            Gahhhhh….internal struggle…can’t decide…must pick one…SUSHI.

           

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

            Happy endings to romantic comedies with Ryan Reynolds are preferred.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

            She’s the Man. Best $5 bucks I’ve ever spent at wal-mart. (Besides, of course, my miley cyrus shirt)

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

            White. It says, “Just Hug It Out.”

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?

            SUMMER. Sweet, sweet summer…

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Both J J J J J J J J J J

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?

            Red velvet cake…awh…auwhh…

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

            Neither. Jazzercise!

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

            The telly. (It’s really the computer, but I couldn’t resist saying telly…)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

            Just finished HP3. Making my way back up.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

            Kirk Skyles.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?

            Waves, baby’s laughter and the sound hippos make.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?

            Is that even a question?

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

            I’m not allowed to say.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

            Abbreves/ganster langs, accents and I make a mean cup of coca.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

            A posh vacation resort in Saudi Arabia. Granddad Buffet was present.

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

            Provo, Utah. How’d I end up here??

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

            I’d say a tanish-sandy-purpley-greenish-whiteish color. It’s hard to say…

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

            Blue. Just like my eyes. And hence its name, “li’l blue”

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?

            Jes (Yes…see #45)

CSBDFT.

Yeshhhhh ladies and gents. Time did a little back to the future. On my teeth. Eighth grade style.

If the lispy "yeshhhhh" wasn't a dead give away, then I'll put it in a cryptic language for you:

j. hpu. CSBDFT.
(funny. the only word that got spell checked was "hpu". i just had to resist the urge to yell "CSBDFT!!" in my house.)

anyway,

I GOT BRACES.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
was my first reaction. but to be honest, it happened so quick i didn't have time to fully understand it.


I just waltzed into Dr. Graff's, experienced legalized torture, watched the cleverly entitled movie "Braces: Get the Facts Straight", and WHAMMO.

it was done.
Now, I won't go off about how much they KILL, or how ^*%^ hard it is to chew food, or how only 1 in 300 girls have my condition. I'm not one to dwell.

I've received many comments from various aspects of Timpview life. Some of my favorites?

"Don't they just KILL?"
"Aw...you look just like Sophie!"....FRESHMAN sophie.
"They make you look younger!" -Mother Susan, 2.5 seconds I got them on..
"Smile! They don't look...that....bad."
and the crowning jewel -

"Abby, you know how people who wear glasses look better? Well with braces you look beautiful." (Reassuring pat) - Stockton Carter

Ah, well. I've come to terms.

Just call me GRILLZ.

TOATS not accurate.

Ohs. YEAH.

Luh luh luh LLAMAs!

Not to be over-obsessive with animals or anything, BUT. I forgot to mention llamas.

Let's be real. Could there be an animal any greater? Mix together a horse, a goat and a sheep (great animals within themselves) aaaaaaaand you get a LLAMA.

and now for the LLAMA LLIST (reasons as to why I llove llem):

1. The Emperor's New Groove. The classiest of the classy. Seriously. If the Emperor's New Groove were a religion, I'd be the first to join. And it;s one of the few movies that really captures the LLAMA spirit. "A llama?? He's supposed to be DEAD!"
2. Tina. One of the most celebrated LLAMAs in history. First appearing on Napoleon Dynamite, she has now developed a love for ham and a facebook page. Don't worry. I've already liked it. 
3. The Llama Fest.  An. entire. fest. DEVOTED. to LLAMAS. Need I say more?
4. Bolivia. My brother spent three months in Bolivia this summer. He told me that LLAMAs run rampant among the various mountain pastures. Now my greatest wish is to move to Bolivia and become a wild LLAMA herder.
5. Baby Llamas. The list of adorable cuteness goes like this: baby llamas, kittens, baby sloths and sandra grace.

and now! for your viewing enjoyment!

Me and Harl-dawg with a llama. CLOSE RANGE.

It's going to happen. Mark my words.

CATZ

A few days ago, I had an intriguing conversation with my friend Alice.

Me: "Alice! Look at my kitty tattoo!"

Alice: "Nice. But why are you so obsessed with cats?"

The next words out of my mouth were "I am NOT!"...but then it dawned on me.

I really am.

Which is weird because,

a.) I would never actually get a cat. They're worthless and smell funny.

b.) My mom's side of the family (nana in particular) has a phobia of cats. Like take-a-bath-after-going-to-someone's-house-who-has-a-cat phobia. Apparently a cat locked up in a shed for three months attacked my grandma when she was little. She's never been the same. 

c.) two words: litter boxes.

so considering my history, a love for cat stuff seems slim to none. but no no no. 

I've got:

• A Christmas cat sweater.
• 50+ kitty tattoos from Claire's.
• A kool kat shirt.
• A best friend key chain with a cat on it.

and to add to my happiness, my brother introduced me to icanhascheezburger.com. its so stupid and cheesy, yet its probs the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So on that note, Christmas is coming up................hint hint. Cat calender anyone?

catz out.

Great Big Words.

This seems like the ultimate stereotypical thing for a girl to put on her blog, but I think its adorbs.

Yes. I just used abbrevs. I use them a lot in my vocabulary. In fact, I'll jot a few key words down for you...you know. Just in case.

• G-Friend: My go to. Though spreading through my friend group, I have yet to walk into Costco and have a complete stranger call me g-friend. Considering expanding to b-friend. EXAMPLE: "Hey G-friend! You look really cute today!"
• ok. OOOK: My other go to...the sister to g-friend. Emphasize the second "ok", and you're golden. Use it to make those who insult you look stupid. EXAMPLE: -Ignorant friend, "Woah Abby, that's one...crazy shirt." -Me, "ok. OOOK." (look of shame from ignorant friend)
• nbd: I love acronyms as well. This one stands for no big deal. When put in an acronym, it sounds even more nonchalant than saying the whole "no big deal". EXAMPLE: "I just scaled the great wall of China, climbed Mount Everest and single-handedly saved the U.S. from World War Three. nbd."
• Que?: Translation - What? Spanish is an excellent language to know and sprinkle in your vocab. Words like excellente!, no problemo, and que tal - when said loudly with an accent - can add that south of the border spice to everyday conversation. EXAMPLE: "I think Dr. B is resigning."...."QUE??"
• Toats: Totally. The spelling for this word has been seen as todes, but toats is a more appropriate spelling. Makes things a little zestier. EXAMPLE: "We should toats have a dancing llama fest in my back yard."
• nmf: This is my favorite acronym. Its so flexible for any excuse. Goes perfectly with raising your arms, shrugging and putting that innocent look on your face. EXAMPLE(S): "Cameron painted the whole house pink while you were baby-sitting??" nmf. "You forgot to get Granny her apples for the apple pie??" nmf. "The turkeys are running around outside because you forgot to lock them in??" nmf.
• Obviously: A good oomph to the end of any sentence. It also stresses the statement before, thus making your audience feel stupid for not seeing the obvious before. EXAMPLE: "We love Abby. Obviously."

And of course there are more descriptive words I like to use - like obscure, conspicuous, revenge, outrage, dilly-dally, obsolete, unprecedented, remotely, despicable, lovely, concussed. 

Alright, maybe those were all the words that came to my mind in the last minute. But no matter. Words are a wonderful thing.

Say Hello to My Little Friends...

Haven't posted in a while. Sorry. I forgot my password....pathetic, I know.

But you know what's not pathetic? Pandahead.

Ok ok maybe I'm a little biased because my brother is in the band, but  this is me we're talkin: music savy and totally hip.
But seriously. I love the music. They consider themselves to be "experimental with jazzy soul"...sounds pretty good to me.

go ahead. check out their songs. enter the world of music-making pandas...

http://soundcloud.com/pandaheadmusic

Take It and Canary? TN. Top. Notch.


and now for my personal favorite...

The Fine Little Swine

creds to Niels Christensen..he told me about the little devils.

According to Angel Enterprise Farm,

"Teacup potbellied pigs and mini pigs are becoming increasingly popular as domestic pets. They are much smaller than the standard farm pig and the regular potbelly pig. They are not really teacup size like one imagines except when they are born. Compared to a full grown regular pig at 600-800 pounds, they weigh in at 30-65 lbs. Teacup potbellied pigs and mini pigs make enjoyable pets because they are very intelligent and affectionate."

Teacup Pigs. 

Needless to say. i. WANT. one. I mean look at the little guy on the far right. If that doesn't scream adroableness like a bag of newborn babies, you must be blind.

Oh.MY.Lanta.

Behold.

the very pleasure for your eyes I was talking about.

why? WHY?? I was seriously thisclose to hysterical tears when I saw this. HYSTERICAL. (the good kind. the I JUST FOUND A SHOE IN ITS MOST PERFECTED STATE hysterical not the THEY'RE TAKING MY BABY hysterical)

anywho. I always have this dream that when I get older, money will have no limits and i may buy whatever clothing articles I choose. This would DEF be on that shopping list.

auwhh...auwhh...(drooling sounds)

  

Everybody's Doing It

Ok ok ok.

I caved.

I decided to get a blog. And wouldn't you know, in three easy steps, here we are. It's funny how they make blogs so accessible - I mean anyone can blog about anything.

If you want that "anyone about anything blog", please refer to the rainbows, puppies and such blog.
But if you want the hardcore-essence-of-life-blog-that-will-make-you-question-your-existense, you've come to the right place.

oohk..maybe not even that. My blog is for the pleasure of your eyes. My posts will excite and amaze you. My insight will make you sob and cry out for something...more. Yep. That's what my blog is.
More. (more...more...more...more)

my likeness..

we'll start with thee self-portrait..