Wednesday, April 27, 2011

They're Good Kids.

The last couple of posts have been fairly long and, if I do say so myself, well-done.
But I'm a little put out.
Drained,  if you will.
Tell you what: I'll make your day and throw in a haiku - in exchange for a shorter blog post.
For Realio.
So that haiku I promised...
(NOTE: A haiku is a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature, one of the seasons, or a dope night babbs just had.)

 At the hospital,
Maybel finds the choco malt.
Ryan, Jake, the DOG.


Aaaaaaaand I just made your day. That's chad. Just chad.
Oves...and OUTS.

FoUr Of SeVeN*:... 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Springs. To the CIDS.

Today as I was mulling over the next  hot thing I could blog about, my complex personality came to mind. There are so many parts to this...phenomenon...called Lil Babbs. And, through my consistent blogging, many of you already know these parts - aka, my cat obsession, my need for the word "gfriend" and the fact that I kick butt at Klondike.
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The part of me that few know about......
The part of me that has hidden that part of me for the past 18 years......
The part of me that belongs to...SPRING CITY.
Now, half of you read that and shudder, while the other half looks at the other OTHER half and thinks, "Why the heck are they shuddering? And where the hello is Spring City??"
Well. Take a gander at this quiz...

(and, inadvertantly, how well do you know Abby...)

1. How far away is Spring City from P-town?
    A.) Tres houras
    B.) 1 hour, 15 minutes and 38 seconds.
    C.) 60 minutes.
    D.) A 3 day journey on foot.
2. Why does Abby go there?
    A.) Because of family obligations and upkeep of the family's yellow house.
    B.) The natives have accepted her as their shamman/dj spectacular.
    C.) The cold climate and vigourous winds are perfect conditions for her unicorn herd.
    D.) To get away from the "crowds" of P-town.
3. How often does Abby stay in Spring City?
    A.) Christmas break.
    B.) Weekends.
    C.) Whenever someone's throwing a big party.
    D.) All of the above.
4. What is there to do in Spring City?
    A.) Cow Tipping.
    B.) Take a trip to the only gas station for some 10 cent candies.
    C.) Listen to the agonizing screams of your brain cells dying.
    D.) Harvest corn. Winter's a comin' on mighty quick...
5. Where is Spring City?
    A.) It's not a place, it's a cult.
    B.) In the dark folds of Abby's mind.
    C.) Sanpete County, Utah.
    D.) Nevada.
6. How many relatives of Abby reside in Spring City?
    A.) 11
    B.) 36
    C.) 284
7. Which towns are closest to Spring City?
    A.) Fall Town, Summerville and Winter Place.
    B.) Ephriam, Manit, Mt. Pleasant.
    C.) Lehi, Orem, Pleasant Grove.
    D.) Rainbows, Kittens and Butterflies.
8. T/F Spring City WILL be the first place Provo runs to in case of Zombie Apocalypse.
9. T/F If one wants to go to the movies, one must choose between the three movies showing at the two theaters.
10. T/F The headquaters for Abby's "mafia friends" is in the old barn behind the house.
 Answers: 1. B, 2. A, 3. D, 4. Anyone, really, 5. C, 6. A, 7. B, 8. True, 9. True and 10. False. It's in the tree house.

 If you totally cheated and scrolled to the bottom for the answers, let me give you Spring Cids in a nutshell (Note: If the paragraph below looks too intimidating, I give you permission to skip it):

My aunt and uncle on my mother's side bought a house in SC. They still own it. Consequently, my other uncle with his family/my grandpa also bought houses. Due to certain circumstances, both eventually sold their houses and moved up north. Now I'm not totally sure on the next sequence of events, but my dad's parents hopped on the Spring City train, as did my padre's two sisters and their families. My parents, feeling a little put out from being left behind, decided to buy a house as well. It was a lovely pioneer home that happened to be condemned. Like, to the point that there were animals living in it. After some blood, sweat and tears, the house was restored and painted the yellow color it is today. Fun Fact: Our house was built on an angle (which is odd, since every other house is perfectly parallel to the street) because the owner thought that angle to be "true north". And so, the Christensen family lived happily in this house for two years until Father Craig got so sick of the hour and 15 minute commute to P-town, that mi parentals decided to move on up here. And as said in the quiz, I now only travel to Spring city for holidays and weekends. 

To be honest, I may moan/whine/complain/grovel/tearoutmyhair about going to Spring Cids but...that's not always how I feel. Sometimes it is nice to get a little family time. To take a walk and enjoy nature. To feed the horses just outside of town. To keep up family traditons. To go to Fat Jacks and Pollie's Brain Freeze. To walk to Gram's and have family dinner. To swing on the hammock in the summer and listen to the crickets. To sit around the fire as snow falls in the winter. To just...chillax.

Sigh. Oh Spring City. *I salute you
Aaaahhhhh...Don't judge me! I'm still the same Babbs....Just don't tell Mother Susan. I think we'd move there right now if she were to read this post....

 Me and the Megs. CUZIN SHOUT-OUT. PROOF of Spring City's realness.

Still going strong...

Monday, April 25, 2011

Me and D. Pows Go Waaay Back...*up*.......
According to my computer clock, it is Mon 10:19 PM, aka the day after my last post, aka I am STILL on track with my goal. the yeahs.

My friend couldn't have said it better when she said, "Everyone thinks I live this bliss life but...I don't."
Take that that statement, multiply it by 10, divide it by dispair and then grind it up into little pieces with your shoe.  Previous statement = my day.
ROUGH. ("And yet, here Abby is, faithfully blogging despite the difficult day she has battled through - just so that I may dream sweet dreams and make little children laugh. Bless her", should be going through your mind right now.)

Alright, alright. I'm being a little dramatic. But still. It was one of THOSE days:
Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.
Late to 1st.
Was told I looked like an Asian fisherman (QUE???) 
Didn't eat lunch. 
Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")
Went PROM DRESS shopping.
Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.
Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)
Forced to clean my man cave. 
Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...
STRESSED about the last month of school.

So there I was. Stewing over the fact that my day was crapola and blasting "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter (shout out to 8th grade, baby!) in my room.  I was to the point of boiling over when I remembered a compliment someone gave me. And the more I thought about that compliment, the more I realized how many (if you will) "bright spots" had dotted my day. Sorry to go all Sister Christensen on ya, but that little moment was straight out of the Young Women's manual. Shall I share my "bright spots" with the class? the yeahs:
That really nice compliment during class.
20/20 on my vocab test. WHADDUP??
A chocolate bunny brought to me from a far-away land (bryn's house)
A nice long chat with a bestie during 5th.
Didn't have to go to 7th. 
Some Lays chips magically appeared on the voting table. My stomach's still thanking me.
Driveway chatola with an old friend.
Found DOS back-up dresses.
The Soph-dawg making me laugh. 
Slurped some clams chowds (my absoulute favorite soup) for din din.
Found my SOUL MATE via internet. We're getting married on October 29th. (National Cat Day, sillies!)

 That sweater came from that cat. And that mullet is ALL man. 

And so all this junk -
Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.
Late to 1st.
Was told I looked like an asian fisherman (QUE???) 
Didn't eat lunch. 
Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")
Went PROM DRESS shopping.
Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.
Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)
Forced to clean my man cave. 
Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...
STRESSED about the last month of school.
- I'll admit, was annoying. And it almost, ALMOST ruined my day. Good thing I found my SOUL MATE Sheldon and decided not to let the bad things define my day.
And so, my little compadres, learn from me. FIND THOSE BRIGHT SPOTS, DANG IT. And may your day be better for it.

And to all of those who said, "Your posts can't be deep AND funny"....JOKES ON YOU.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Cause It's a Bittersweet Epiphany...

Today my dear, dear friends, I had an epiphany.


1. a sudden, intuitiveperception of or insight into the reality oressential meaning of something, usually initiated by somesimple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

I'm offended by the words "somesimple" and "homely" and "commonplace".
They make me think of 16th century Puritan girls.
For those who know me, "jazzy" and "cool" and "super hawt" tailor more to THIS 21st century woman.
Nay, my epiphany, though subtle, was very VERY profound. And what was my epiphany, you ask?


1. a sudden, intuitive insight about blogging Abby received that went along the lines of: 

I know, right?? And after.. .. .all. .. ...... ...this time... .. ... .. .. ..... .. ..Ok but for reals. I rarely ever blogged because I felt like my posts required at least dos houras of my time to be a complete success. But here's the kicker: THEY DON'T. I don't know how/when/who/where/why this idea came to me, and yet, it was the missing puzzle piece in my mind. (Yes, you may read that sentence again and try to figure out why the HECK I'm not a song writer...)
So. Here comes the conclusion. Along with the bajillion other things on my goal list (right between "make a cat hair sweater" and "learn how to 'kirk'") I am penciling in: 
*audible gasps* I know. I KNOW. I don't care how tired/dirty/un-funny/lame-sauce/finger numb I get. I'll reach my goal if it kills me, DANG IT. Note: This is an experiment. I just want to see if:
A.) I can keep up.
B.) My posts still possess their meaty goodness.
C.) My life changes for the better. 
D.) I can put back the shine in my follower's eyes.

I'm not banking on C, but we'll "C" how this goes!
tee hee hee hee're always off to a good start with puns.

And so it begins...ONE OF SEVEN.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Are you "List"ening?

I like making lists.
In fact, one could say that I'm a world class list-maker...lister...listacular extradinaire?
Take your pick.
Aaaaaaaand to show that I'm not bluffing, I'll whip out a couple of lists RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.

The Multiple Banes of Abby's Existence:
1. ENGLISH. (Note: Not the english language, but the english class. Me + No motivation + Time in the     Library = NO BUENONESS.)
2. PROM DRESSES. Finding one that tailors to Mother Susan's modesty par/price range, along with   Abby's taste is mission impossible.
4. INDEPENDENCE PACKETS. If I had to choose between cheese-grating my brain, filing off my fingers with a rusty spoon or doing an Independence packet.. . .. .... .. ... .. .yeaaaah ok. I'd do the packet but with a very, VERY unwilling heart.
5. THE ABSENCE/TARDY CALLS. In Father Craig's mind, I'm a delinquent.
6. BRACES. (See previous "CSBDFT" post)
7. BURNT TOAST. In two fateful minutes, your whole day is burned!

The Small Things that Make Abby Smile:
3. The gas needle on full. (A RARE FEAT WITHIN ITSELF)
4. Finding 5 bucks in my pocket. (No 20s in there..)
5. Good-smelling hand soap. (I call it the Bn'B double threat...heh heh hee)
6. The Sexy Sax Man. (Look! He's playing to the baby)
7. Awkward dance moves. (Unn tss unn tss unn tss)
8. A good rap song. (Big K.R.I.T, anyone?)
9. Blog updates (ooh..the irony)
10. 80's music/music videos.
11. Lindt truffs.

What Abby Did Today:
1. Learned how to fly.
2. Rode a magical, talking unicorn named Eldon to Candy Land.
3. Had my first Crunch Wrap Supreme. 

Movies Abby Could Watch Over and Over Again If She Were Stuck in A Room With All  Her Favorite Movies:
(Off the Top of Her Head, Of Course)
1. EVER AFTER. "There was a bee."
2. SHE'S THE MAN. "Have a grrreat apple and sandwich!"
3. EMPS NEWS GROOVES. "A big. stupid. monkey. named. KRONK!!"
4. MOULIN ROUGE. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn-- is just to love and be loved in return."
5. TANGLED. "Is there any chance I'm going to get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not going to lie...that would be stupendous.
6. HOT ROD. "It's nice to see him smiling again. He won't be smiling...WHEN I MURDER HIM!"
7. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS. "Four eyes, four eyes you need glasses to see!"
8. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. "She turned me into a newt!...I got better."


This is Ryan. He's Good with Kids. And DOPE.

This is Bryn and Popers. They blog. Bless them.

This is Thomas. He's a good kid. ((and my senior ball date)) Whaaa..?

This is Alice. We're all here for you, Dr. A.

This is Brando. I know...2hawt2handle.

This is Elizabeth. She's in love.

This is Ross. A.k.a BESTEST BIG BROTHER :):):)

This is Soph-Dawg. She's running for Sophomore Secretary.

This is Nikki/Nikki's Chicken. They're both my biggest fans.

And, of course, my biggest inspirations: