Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ah. Back to square one. The oldest excuse in the book.
"I'm not a very consistent blogger."
Key word: consistent. (hence the bold, underline, italicize, larger font shindig)
BUT when my blog posts do happen, are they not filled with nuggets of pure insight and wisdom that surpass the price of diamonds?
Well...yes, according to the small audience in my head.
(they all just laughed)

Ens whos..
(BLEH. my attempt to shorten "anywho" went horribly arry.)
Like unto cookies laced with rat poison, my blog is laced with...not rat poison.
Whooo doggie. I'm rusty. Let me try again. (Eh-eh-eh-hem)
I'm going to tell you ten random facts about myself that have not been revealed via blog, because frankly, I'm like an onion. (appreciate shrek reference..) Peel away all the cool/hip/hipster/g layers and...I'm just me.'s been a long day. MOVING ON.

FACT: I love musicals. Secret Garden? She has her eyes, she has my Lily's hazel eyes! Those eyes that loved my brother never me! Oliver? Would you lace my shoe? Anything! Paint your face bright blue? Anything! Catch a kangaroo? Anything! Go to Timbuctoo? And back again! Phantom? Don't make her lie to you to save me... Les Mis? All my life, I've only been pretending. Without me, his world will go on turning, a world that's full of happiness that I have never known!  Newsies? Met this girl last night...Ehhh move your elbow, past the towel, for a buck I might!  Into The Woods? I wish...more than anything...more than life...more than jewels...I wish...the King is giving a Festival. I wish to go to the Festival-- Wicked? And nobody in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring me down! Little Shop of Horrors? Suddenly Seymour, is standing beside you, you don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend. West Side Story? Singing in the Rain? Sound of Music??
I know it looks like a big chunk of nothing that makes no sense, but if you share my love for a story told through song, these words should sear your heart and strengthen your soul. Again: I love musicals.

FACT: I always have to have my nails painted. Glitter/dark colors are my go to. Ironic, aren't I?

FACT: I have never been to Lake Powell. Or Tepanyaki. Or Idaho. But I most definitely HAVE been to Spring City.

FACT: I am PRO at Klondike. Sound familiar? Like the game on your ipod that's freakishly similiar/basically is solitare? Yep. And, unlike the picture below, I don't have $53. Psh. More like...7 GRAND!! I'm seriously obsessed.

FACT: I crack myself up. Literally. Ask anyone. Like, go ahead. Ask. ASK DANG IT*&(*@#%^

FACT: Peachie-Os are my absolute favorite candy. And not just any run-of-the-mill-two-for-a-dollar Peachie-Os - the Trolli kind, of course. 

FACT: I have a tattoo of a small, tri-winged bird named Vern where my hairline and neck meet.

FACT: Sometimes I tell people I have a tattoo of a small, tri-winged bird named Vern where my hairline and neck meet.

FACT: Whenever I text, all the messages I send include either CAPS on words I stress, the dot-dot delio (..) and professions of love. That last one always gets me in trubs.

FACT: Belted sweaters live on in my heart. Bless them.

And if Mr. Belted Sweater Man didn't sweep you off your feet...this baby comes close.

Friday, March 4, 2011

For Old Time's Sake...

On Feburary 16th I was going to post a post of epic proportions, but as we've all noticed...posting's not mah strong suit. But I have many, many other strong suits. And hey, feel free to leave a comment about one of them.
Point: If you didn't know, Feburary 16th is the exact halfway mark of my journey in Aussie land. And of course, whenever I even think of halfway, I think of halfway there, which makes me think of living on a prayer. Which obviously ques Bon Jovi and his smash hit "Living on A Prayer".

And though my time here is past the halfway mark, I couldn't resist:
If you didn't worship the hair or start singing along out loud...............I can't even fathom a good enough threat. Just keep watching.

Totally off track, but entertaining nevertheless.
So. Y'all been wunderin what li'l babbs has been up to? Ho ho hooo. You've come to the right place.
You see, I've conviniently organized my time here in Australia into a cleverly titled list. I call it:

The Things Abby Has Been Doing in Mooloolaba:
(Note: Sorry to throw you for a loop with that last word. Pronounced, Moo-loo-lah-BA, it's the beach town where the fam and I have been residing for the past six weeks. Dare I even call it...home??)

  • Writing a Book: It's about a small Mongolian family and their journey from the south of France to the island nation of Tahiti. Hopefully, in about fifty years, someone will find so much meaning in their trip that they will force english students everywhere to find meaning in the family's pet goat, Pedro. How satisfying.
  • Mastering the Langs: Surprisingly, some of the words off the previous post I've actually heard. "Bathers" is one of them. And you haven't lived till you've heard an Aussie man say "Those cashed-up Bogans" or an Aussie two year old say "Purple". I know we all say purple, but with the accent...I could've died happy then and there. They also say "loads" and "heaps" and "ages" a lot. "Have a go". "Cheers". "Good on ya, mate". "Abby you're probably the best thing that's ever happened to Australia." That sort of thing.
  • Understanding Exactly What "Aquired Taste" Means: Vegimite DEF falls under the "AT" category. I never intended to try the "yeast extract", but I got a little sneak attack at the local bakery. Who knew that it was the brown stuff between the bread sample? BLEH is all I can say. They also have these things called "Musk Sticks". Just imagine soap in the form of pink, sugary sticks. One "AT" I do appreciate is the Fish and Chips one. Some wardies showed us the best Fish n' Chips place in Mooloolaba. We've gone back three times.
  • Freaking Out Over the Fact That They Really Do Drive On the Wrong Side of The Road: Nuff said.
  • Becoming an Expert on Lollies: Ever heard of a Crunchies? Maybe a Cherry Ripe? A Mars? Mayhaps...a PICNIC?? No...? Well. If you're ever in Australia, skip the Crunchie, load up on the Mars and have a few Cherry Ripes/Picnics. Trust me. I'm a doc- expert.
  • Getting Back to My Brazilian Roots: Confused? Does the I know they have it back in the States, but I've truly discovered my passion for it here. I've taken a couple of classes, as well as a keen liking for it. I go almost every week with an arranged ride. Goal in life: Accomplish world peace. Become a Zumba instructor.
  • Worshipping the Beach Gods: I think in one of my past lives, I was a mermaid. I. LOVE. the Ocean. As mentioned before, Mooloos is a beach town. And we're lucky enough to have our appartment RIGHT by the beach. Like, the only thing separating us and the shore is a parking lot. "Going Swimming Everyday" has replaced "Breathing" on my list of priorities.
  • Changing My Identitiy: Yeah. I'm THAT tan.
  • Conquering the Bus Route: Let's just say she's never an easy one to tame. Wild. Dirty. Unpredictable. Pretty much sums up the Bus System here in Mooloolaba. Ok ok the buses aren't dirty. Actually they're fairly clean and air conditioned. Not having a car stinketh, but it beats walking. And after 5 weeks of trial and error, I've learned one thing: Take the 600, and you never go wrong. 
  • Learning Funny Jokes: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?........Because it was dead. 
  • Losing 20 lbs (10 kilos!) in Water Weight: If you faint at the sight of blood or have queasy stomach, move on to the next bullet. Because I'm going to talk SWEAT. Nast, I know, but it must be addressed. Sometimes, because we live in the pit of hell-o's freezer, we forget what it's like to sweat. Well humidity slapped me right out of my forgetfulness. Our appartment has no aircon - even a measly fan is not to be found. So when the breeze from the ocean suddenly stops, let's just say - it's taco time.
  • Becoming Weird Homeschool Kids: We (my family and I) were out on the town one night. It was the strangest thing. I kept on seeing all these...youth...ususally in large packs, just wandering about. On a Friday night for goodness sakes! They should be with their families watching movies from Blockbuster!! Kids these days.
  • Interacting With Local Wildlife: If you haven't been on Facebook and seen the picture of me holding a Koala, well. I'VE HELD A KOALA. Named Kramer. Naturally. I've also had the chance to feed Kangaroos, an Elephant and even an Emu. Oh. I've also seen some crabs and a dead bat. 
  • Taking Pictures of Australian Children in Chicken Suits: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You thought I was kidding.

  • And, of course, missing every one in...Prorem? Prayson...? Palt Lake City? Gosh. If it's not New York or L.A., the name just seems to escape to me!
But really. Message me. Stay kool, like kool kats. Be good. Eat your veggies. Take your vitamins. And, give Dr. B a hug for me, will you? Shpanks.

I'll leave you with my fav aussie comerish...

Don't push me cuz ahm close to da eeeeedge...