They're Good Kids.

The last couple of posts have been fairly long and, if I do say so myself, well-done.

But I'm a little put out.

Drained,  if you will.

Tell you what: I'll make your day and throw in a haiku - in exchange for a shorter blog post.

Dealio?

For Realio.

So that haiku I promised...

(NOTE: A haiku is a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature, one of the seasons, or a dope night babbs just had.)

 At the hospital,

Maybel finds the choco malt.

Ryan, Jake, the DOG.

HohohoHOhohOHohOHohooHOHohoHohohOh. 

Aaaaaaaand I just made your day. That's chad. Just chad.

Oves...and OUTS.

FoUr Of SeVeN*:... 

Springs. To the CIDS.

Today as I was mulling over the next  hot thing I could blog about, my complex personality came to mind. There are so many parts to this...phenomenon...called Lil Babbs. And, through my consistent blogging, many of you already know these parts - aka, my cat obsession, my need for the word "gfriend" and the fact that I kick butt at Klondike.
And then, out of nowhere, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The part of me that few know about......

The part of me that has hidden that part of me for the past 18 years......

The part of me that belongs to...SPRING CITY.

Now, half of you read that and shudder, while the other half looks at the other OTHER half and thinks, "Why the heck are they shuddering? And where the hello is Spring City??"
Well. Take a gander at this quiz...

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW SPRING CITY?

(and, inadvertantly, how well do you know Abby...)

1. How far away is Spring City from P-town?
    A.) Tres houras
    B.) 1 hour, 15 minutes and 38 seconds.
    C.) 60 minutes.
    D.) A 3 day journey on foot.
2. Why does Abby go there?
    A.) Because of family obligations and upkeep of the family's yellow house.
    B.) The natives have accepted her as their shamman/dj spectacular.
    C.) The cold climate and vigourous winds are perfect conditions for her unicorn herd.
    D.) To get away from the "crowds" of P-town.
3. How often does Abby stay in Spring City?
    A.) Christmas break.
    B.) Weekends.
    C.) Whenever someone's throwing a big party.
    D.) All of the above.
4. What is there to do in Spring City?
    A.) Cow Tipping.
    B.) Take a trip to the only gas station for some 10 cent candies.
    C.) Listen to the agonizing screams of your brain cells dying.
    D.) Harvest corn. Winter's a comin' on mighty quick...
5. Where is Spring City?
    A.) It's not a place, it's a cult.
    B.) In the dark folds of Abby's mind.
    C.) Sanpete County, Utah.
    D.) Nevada.
6. How many relatives of Abby reside in Spring City?
    A.) 11
    B.) 36
    C.) 284
    D.) IT'S A CULT, DANG IT.
7. Which towns are closest to Spring City?
    A.) Fall Town, Summerville and Winter Place.
    B.) Ephriam, Manit, Mt. Pleasant.
    C.) Lehi, Orem, Pleasant Grove.
    D.) Rainbows, Kittens and Butterflies.
8. T/F Spring City WILL be the first place Provo runs to in case of Zombie Apocalypse.
9. T/F If one wants to go to the movies, one must choose between the three movies showing at the two theaters.
10. T/F The headquaters for Abby's "mafia friends" is in the old barn behind the house.
 Answers: 1. B, 2. A, 3. D, 4. Anyone, really, 5. C, 6. A, 7. B, 8. True, 9. True and 10. False. It's in the tree house.

 If you totally cheated and scrolled to the bottom for the answers, let me give you Spring Cids in a nutshell (Note: If the paragraph below looks too intimidating, I give you permission to skip it):

My aunt and uncle on my mother's side bought a house in SC. They still own it. Consequently, my other uncle with his family/my grandpa also bought houses. Due to certain circumstances, both eventually sold their houses and moved up north. Now I'm not totally sure on the next sequence of events, but my dad's parents hopped on the Spring City train, as did my padre's two sisters and their families. My parents, feeling a little put out from being left behind, decided to buy a house as well. It was a lovely pioneer home that happened to be condemned. Like, to the point that there were animals living in it. After some blood, sweat and tears, the house was restored and painted the yellow color it is today. Fun Fact: Our house was built on an angle (which is odd, since every other house is perfectly parallel to the street) because the owner thought that angle to be "true north". And so, the Christensen family lived happily in this house for two years until Father Craig got so sick of the hour and 15 minute commute to P-town, that mi parentals decided to move on up here. And as said in the quiz, I now only travel to Spring city for holidays and weekends. 

To be honest, I may moan/whine/complain/grovel/tearoutmyhair about going to Spring Cids but...that's not always how I feel. Sometimes it is nice to get a little family time. To take a walk and enjoy nature. To feed the horses just outside of town. To keep up family traditons. To go to Fat Jacks and Pollie's Brain Freeze. To walk to Gram's and have family dinner. To swing on the hammock in the summer and listen to the crickets. To sit around the fire as snow falls in the winter. To just...chillax.

Sigh. Oh Spring City. *I salute you* 
Aaaahhhhh...Don't judge me! I'm still the same Babbs....Just don't tell Mother Susan. I think we'd move there right now if she were to read this post....

 Me and the Megs. CUZIN SHOUT-OUT. PROOF of Spring City's realness.

THREE OF SEVEN.

Still going strong...

Me and D. Pows Go Waaay Back...

oh.........man......day....t..t..ttwo.......can......(GASP).....b..b...barley....keep.......*up*.......
JOKES ON YOU MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS.
According to my computer clock, it is Mon 10:19 PM, aka the day after my last post, aka I am STILL on track with my goal. Ohs..to the yeahs.

My friend couldn't have said it better when she said, "Everyone thinks I live this bliss life but...I don't."
Take that that statement, multiply it by 10, divide it by dispair and then grind it up into little pieces with your shoe.  Previous statement = my day.
ROUGH. ("And yet, here Abby is, faithfully blogging despite the difficult day she has battled through - just so that I may dream sweet dreams and make little children laugh. Bless her", should be going through your mind right now.)

Alright, alright. I'm being a little dramatic. But still. It was one of THOSE days:

Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.

Late to 1st.

Was told I looked like an Asian fisherman (QUE???) 

Didn't eat lunch. 

Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")

Went PROM DRESS shopping.

Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.

Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)

Forced to clean my man cave. 

Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...

and...

STRESSED about the last month of school.

So there I was. Stewing over the fact that my day was crapola and blasting "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter (shout out to 8th grade, baby!) in my room.  I was to the point of boiling over when I remembered a compliment someone gave me. And the more I thought about that compliment, the more I realized how many (if you will) "bright spots" had dotted my day. Sorry to go all Sister Christensen on ya, but that little moment was straight out of the Young Women's manual. Shall I share my "bright spots" with the class? Ohs...to the yeahs:

That really nice compliment during class.

20/20 on my vocab test. WHADDUP??

A chocolate bunny brought to me from a far-away land (bryn's house)

A nice long chat with a bestie during 5th.

Didn't have to go to 7th. 

Some Lays chips magically appeared on the voting table. My stomach's still thanking me.

Driveway chatola with an old friend.

Found DOS back-up dresses.

The Soph-dawg making me laugh. 

Slurped some clams chowds (my absoulute favorite soup) for din din.

Found my SOUL MATE via internet. We're getting married on October 29th. (National Cat Day, sillies!)

 That sweater came from that cat. And that mullet is ALL man. 

And so all this junk -
Lil Blue (my faithful 1996 mazda protegue) won't talk to me because I didn't take him to school today.
Late to 1st.
Was told I looked like an asian fisherman (QUE???) 
Didn't eat lunch. 
Got my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces tightened. ("Yeaah...we skipped a wire size just because we like seeing the innocent suffer")
Went PROM DRESS shopping.
Failed miserably at PROM DRESS shopping.
Couldn't chew my delicious easter goodies. (Because of my *#%@^)@&*#%&*^&*% braces)
Forced to clean my man cave. 
Can't have lil blue ALL WEEK. He's one to hold a grudge...
and...
STRESSED about the last month of school.
- I'll admit, was annoying. And it almost, ALMOST ruined my day. Good thing I found my SOUL MATE Sheldon and decided not to let the bad things define my day.
And so, my little compadres, learn from me. FIND THOSE BRIGHT SPOTS, DANG IT. And may your day be better for it.

TWO OF SEVEN.
And to all of those who said, "Your posts can't be deep AND funny"....JOKES ON YOU.

Cause It's a Bittersweet Epiphany...

Today my dear, dear friends, I had an epiphany.

e·piph·a·ny

1. a sudden, intuitiveperception of or insight into the reality oressential meaning of something, usually initiated by somesimple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

I'm offended by the words "somesimple" and "homely" and "commonplace".

They make me think of 16th century Puritan girls.

For those who know me, "jazzy" and "cool" and "super hawt" tailor more to THIS 21st century woman.

Nay, my epiphany, though subtle, was very VERY profound. And what was my epiphany, you ask?

Ab·by['s] 

e·piph·a·ny

1. a sudden, intuitive insight about blogging Abby received that went along the lines of: 

BLOGGING ISN'T HARD.

I know, right?? And after.. .. .all. .. ...... ...this time... .. ... .. .. ..... .. ..Ok but for reals. I rarely ever blogged because I felt like my posts required at least dos houras of my time to be a complete success. But here's the kicker: THEY DON'T. I don't know how/when/who/where/why this idea came to me, and yet, it was the missing puzzle piece in my mind. (Yes, you may read that sentence again and try to figure out why the HECK I'm not a song writer...)

So. Here comes the conclusion. Along with the bajillion other things on my goal list (right between "make a cat hair sweater" and "learn how to 'kirk'") I am penciling in: 

BLOG EVERYDAY THIS WEEK. 

*audible gasps* I know. I KNOW. I don't care how tired/dirty/un-funny/lame-sauce/finger numb I get. I'll reach my goal if it kills me, DANG IT. Note: This is an experiment. I just want to see if:

A.) I can keep up.

B.) My posts still possess their meaty goodness.

C.) My life changes for the better. 

and 

D.) I can put back the shine in my follower's eyes.

I'm not banking on C, but we'll "C" how this goes!

tee hee hee hee heee...........................................................you're always off to a good start with puns.

And so it begins...ONE OF SEVEN.

Are you "List"ening?

I like making lists.
In fact, one could say that I'm a world class list-maker...lister...listacular extradinaire?
Take your pick.
Aaaaaaaand to show that I'm not bluffing, I'll whip out a couple of lists RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.

The Multiple Banes of Abby's Existence:
1. ENGLISH. (Note: Not the english language, but the english class. Me + No motivation + Time in the     Library = NO BUENONESS.)
2. PROM DRESSES. Finding one that tailors to Mother Susan's modesty par/price range, along with   Abby's taste is mission impossible.
3. PEOPLE WHO PARK IN TWO SPACES. Really? REALLY??
4. INDEPENDENCE PACKETS. If I had to choose between cheese-grating my brain, filing off my fingers with a rusty spoon or doing an Independence packet.. . .. .... .. ... .. .yeaaaah ok. I'd do the packet but with a very, VERY unwilling heart.
5. THE ABSENCE/TARDY CALLS. In Father Craig's mind, I'm a delinquent.
6. BRACES. (See previous "CSBDFT" post)
7. BURNT TOAST. In two fateful minutes, your whole day is burned!

The Small Things that Make Abby Smile:

1. CAT SHIRTS.

2. CAT LADIES.

3. The gas needle on full. (A RARE FEAT WITHIN ITSELF)

4. Finding 5 bucks in my pocket. (No 20s in there..)

5. Good-smelling hand soap. (I call it the Bn'B double threat...heh heh hee)

6. The Sexy Sax Man. (Look! He's playing to the baby)

7. Awkward dance moves. (Unn tss unn tss unn tss)

8. A good rap song. (Big K.R.I.T, anyone?)

9. Blog updates (ooh..the irony)

10. 80's music/music videos.

11. Lindt truffs.

12. TOE SOCKS. 

What Abby Did Today:

1. Learned how to fly.

2. Rode a magical, talking unicorn named Eldon to Candy Land.

3. Had my first Crunch Wrap Supreme. 

Movies Abby Could Watch Over and Over Again If She Were Stuck in A Room With All  Her Favorite Movies:

(Off the Top of Her Head, Of Course)

1. EVER AFTER. "There was a bee."

2. SHE'S THE MAN. "Have a grrreat apple and sandwich!"

3. EMPS NEWS GROOVES. "A big. stupid. monkey. named. KRONK!!"

4. MOULIN ROUGE. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn-- is just to love and be loved in return."

5. TANGLED. "Is there any chance I'm going to get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not going to lie...that would be stupendous.

6. HOT ROD. "It's nice to see him smiling again. He won't be smiling...WHEN I MURDER HIM!"

7. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS. "Four eyes, four eyes you need glasses to see!"

8. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. "She turned me into a newt!...I got better."

And of course, THE BLOG-WORSHIPPERS SUPER SHOUT-OUT LIST:

This is Ryan. He's Good with Kids. And DOPE.

This is Bryn and Popers. They blog. Bless them.

This is Thomas. He's a good kid. ((and my senior ball date)) Whaaa..?

This is Alice. We're all here for you, Dr. A.

This is Brando. I know...2hawt2handle.

This is Elizabeth. She's in love.

This is Ross. A.k.a BESTEST BIG BROTHER :):):)

This is Soph-Dawg. She's running for Sophomore Secretary.

This is Nikki/Nikki's Chicken. They're both my biggest fans.

And, of course, my biggest inspirations:

Ah. Back to square one. The oldest excuse in the book.

"I'm not a very consistent blogger."

Key word: consistent. (hence the bold, underline, italicize, larger font shindig)

BUT when my blog posts do happen, are they not filled with nuggets of pure insight and wisdom that surpass the price of diamonds?

Well...yes, according to the small audience in my head.

(they all just laughed)

Ens whos..

(BLEH. my attempt to shorten "anywho" went horribly arry.)

Like unto cookies laced with rat poison, my blog is laced with...not rat poison.

Whooo doggie. I'm rusty. Let me try again. (Eh-eh-eh-hem)

I'm going to tell you ten random facts about myself that have not been revealed via blog, because frankly, I'm like an onion. (appreciate shrek reference..) Peel away all the cool/hip/hipster/g layers and...I'm just me.

Yeeaah...it's been a long day. MOVING ON.

FACT: I love musicals. Secret Garden? She has her eyes, she has my Lily's hazel eyes! Those eyes that loved my brother never me! Oliver? Would you lace my shoe? Anything! Paint your face bright blue? Anything! Catch a kangaroo? Anything! Go to Timbuctoo? And back again! Phantom? Don't make her lie to you to save me... Les Mis? All my life, I've only been pretending. Without me, his world will go on turning, a world that's full of happiness that I have never known!  Newsies? Met this girl last night...Ehhh move your elbow, past the towel, for a buck I might!  Into The Woods? I wish...more than anything...more than life...more than jewels...I wish...the King is giving a Festival. I wish to go to the Festival-- Wicked? And nobody in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring me down! Little Shop of Horrors? Suddenly Seymour, is standing beside you, you don't need no makeup, don't have to pretend. West Side Story? Singing in the Rain? Sound of Music??
I know it looks like a big chunk of nothing that makes no sense, but if you share my love for a story told through song, these words should sear your heart and strengthen your soul. Again: I love musicals.

FACT: I always have to have my nails painted. Glitter/dark colors are my go to. Ironic, aren't I?

FACT: I have never been to Lake Powell. Or Tepanyaki. Or Idaho. But I most definitely HAVE been to Spring City.

FACT: I am PRO at Klondike. Sound familiar? Like the game on your ipod that's freakishly similiar/basically is solitare? Yep. And, unlike the picture below, I don't have $53. Psh. More like...7 GRAND!! I'm seriously obsessed.

FACT: I crack myself up. Literally. Ask anyone. Like, go ahead. Ask. ASK DANG IT*&(*@#%^

FACT: Peachie-Os are my absolute favorite candy. And not just any run-of-the-mill-two-for-a-dollar Peachie-Os - the Trolli kind, of course. 

FACT: I have a tattoo of a small, tri-winged bird named Vern where my hairline and neck meet.

FACT: Sometimes I tell people I have a tattoo of a small, tri-winged bird named Vern where my hairline and neck meet.

FACT: Whenever I text, all the messages I send include either CAPS on words I stress, the dot-dot delio (..) and professions of love. That last one always gets me in trubs.

FACT: Belted sweaters live on in my heart. Bless them.

And if Mr. Belted Sweater Man didn't sweep you off your feet...this baby comes close.

For Old Time's Sake...

On Feburary 16th I was going to post a post of epic proportions, but as we've all noticed...posting's not mah strong suit. But I have many, many other strong suits. And hey, feel free to leave a comment about one of them.

Point: If you didn't know, Feburary 16th is the exact halfway mark of my journey in Aussie land. And of course, whenever I even think of halfway, I think of halfway there, which makes me think of living on a prayer. Which obviously ques Bon Jovi and his smash hit "Living on A Prayer".

And though my time here is past the halfway mark, I couldn't resist:

If you didn't worship the hair or start singing along out loud...............I can't even fathom a good enough threat. Just keep watching.

Totally off track, but entertaining nevertheless.
So. Y'all been wunderin what li'l babbs has been up to? Ho ho hooo. You've come to the right place.
You see, I've conviniently organized my time here in Australia into a cleverly titled list. I call it:

The Things Abby Has Been Doing in Mooloolaba:
(Note: Sorry to throw you for a loop with that last word. Pronounced, Moo-loo-lah-BA, it's the beach town where the fam and I have been residing for the past six weeks. Dare I even call it...home??)
Ahem.

• Writing a Book: It's about a small Mongolian family and their journey from the south of France to the island nation of Tahiti. Hopefully, in about fifty years, someone will find so much meaning in their trip that they will force english students everywhere to find meaning in the family's pet goat, Pedro. How satisfying.
• Mastering the Langs: Surprisingly, some of the words off the previous post I've actually heard. "Bathers" is one of them. And you haven't lived till you've heard an Aussie man say "Those cashed-up Bogans" or an Aussie two year old say "Purple". I know we all say purple, but with the accent...I could've died happy then and there. They also say "loads" and "heaps" and "ages" a lot. "Have a go". "Cheers". "Good on ya, mate". "Abby you're probably the best thing that's ever happened to Australia." That sort of thing.
• Understanding Exactly What "Aquired Taste" Means: Vegimite DEF falls under the "AT" category. I never intended to try the "yeast extract", but I got a little sneak attack at the local bakery. Who knew that it was the brown stuff between the bread sample? BLEH is all I can say. They also have these things called "Musk Sticks". Just imagine soap in the form of pink, sugary sticks. One "AT" I do appreciate is the Fish and Chips one. Some wardies showed us the best Fish n' Chips place in Mooloolaba. We've gone back three times.
• Freaking Out Over the Fact That They Really Do Drive On the Wrong Side of The Road: Nuff said.
• Becoming an Expert on Lollies: Ever heard of a Crunchies? Maybe a Cherry Ripe? A Mars? Mayhaps...a PICNIC?? No...? Well. If you're ever in Australia, skip the Crunchie, load up on the Mars and have a few Cherry Ripes/Picnics. Trust me. I'm a doc- expert.
• Getting Back to My Brazilian Roots: Confused? Does the word...ZUMBA...help?? I know they have it back in the States, but I've truly discovered my passion for it here. I've taken a couple of classes, as well as a keen liking for it. I go almost every week with an arranged ride. Goal in life: Accomplish world peace. Become a Zumba instructor.
• Worshipping the Beach Gods: I think in one of my past lives, I was a mermaid. I. LOVE. the Ocean. As mentioned before, Mooloos is a beach town. And we're lucky enough to have our appartment RIGHT by the beach. Like, the only thing separating us and the shore is a parking lot. "Going Swimming Everyday" has replaced "Breathing" on my list of priorities.
• Changing My Identitiy: Yeah. I'm THAT tan.
• Conquering the Bus Route: Let's just say she's never an easy one to tame. Wild. Dirty. Unpredictable. Pretty much sums up the Bus System here in Mooloolaba. Ok ok the buses aren't dirty. Actually they're fairly clean and air conditioned. Not having a car stinketh, but it beats walking. And after 5 weeks of trial and error, I've learned one thing: Take the 600, and you never go wrong. 
• Learning Funny Jokes: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?........Because it was dead. 
• Losing 20 lbs (10 kilos!) in Water Weight: If you faint at the sight of blood or have queasy stomach, move on to the next bullet. Because I'm going to talk SWEAT. Nast, I know, but it must be addressed. Sometimes, because we live in the pit of hell-o's freezer, we forget what it's like to sweat. Well humidity slapped me right out of my forgetfulness. Our appartment has no aircon - even a measly fan is not to be found. So when the breeze from the ocean suddenly stops, let's just say - it's taco time.
• Becoming Weird Homeschool Kids: We (my family and I) were out on the town one night. It was the strangest thing. I kept on seeing all these...youth...ususally in large packs, just wandering about. On a Friday night for goodness sakes! They should be with their families watching movies from Blockbuster!! Kids these days.
• Interacting With Local Wildlife: If you haven't been on Facebook and seen the picture of me holding a Koala, well. I'VE HELD A KOALA. Named Kramer. Naturally. I've also had the chance to feed Kangaroos, an Elephant and even an Emu. Oh. I've also seen some crabs and a dead bat. 
• Taking Pictures of Australian Children in Chicken Suits: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You thought I was kidding.

• And, of course, missing every one in...Prorem? Prayson...? Palt Lake City? Gosh. If it's not New York or L.A., the name just seems to escape to me!

But really. Message me. Stay kool, like kool kats. Be good. Eat your veggies. Take your vitamins. And, give Dr. B a hug for me, will you? Shpanks.

I'll leave you with my fav aussie comerish...

Don't push me cuz ahm close to da eeeeedge...